Memories of My Father--from India to Chicago

My father died Dec. 10, the Feast of Our Lady of Loreto. I was hearing Mass, offering it for him, at the time of his passing. The Gospel reading from Matthew was so perfect: "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light." I have prayed and cried many tears for him to receive all the graces necessary to repent and choose our Lord. For I truly desire to meet my father in heaven and know him in his perfection. God-willing. 

On my way home I sang Mendelssohn's O Rest in the Lord (this is a most beautiful recording) and upon arrival home immediately sought out my copy to play on the piano. It brought me such peace to know that I can rest in the Lord and be at peace and continue to pray for the repose of his soul, trusting in God's unfathomable mercy and perfect justice.

O rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him,

And He shall give thee thy heart's desires.

Commit thy way unto Him, and trust in Him,

And fret not thyself because of evil doers.

O rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him.

Wait patiently for Him. 

It being the Feast of Our Lady of Loreto, whose little house in Nazareth was transported to Italy by Angels, I couldn't help but think of Bouguereau's Soul Brought to Heaven and the last movement of the Requiem Mass: in Paradisum. May the angels lead him to paradise... Music, music--what a balm it is to my soul.
 

I don't have a lot of pictures of us together because we were apart most of our lives. But I am grateful for what he has done--bringing me to baptism in our Lord, bringing our family to the US, and introducing me to folk-dance. He witnessed my marriage and I'm glad he got to meet my children a few times while they were growing up.

These are some of the oldest pictures I have of my father. He's here with his first-born. While I was visiting he spoke about him, how he was a great little man. He died shortly before his fifth birthday so I never got to meet him. But my mom always told stories about him, so I feel very close to him. The family picture was taken after the funeral of my maternal grandfather. My mom is carrying her second son...

This family photo was taken when my father returned from Germany. I have no memory of this, but my sister remembers being sad because she wanted to stand next to my mom. I was clueless. Only my brother was excited!

At my sister's place in Nebraska--her kids are all grown up now. And the day before my wedding at my in-law's place. I've always loved that I look both like my mom and dad and also my stepmother :) 

We lived in Belgium for a couple of years right after we got married. Michael worked for a Belgian machine tool company and I was at the Max Planck Institute in Cologne. My parents came to visit and we had a wonderful couple of weeks together sightseeing. My dad had done a Masters in Germany and has always loved all things German. He was so proud of me for doing my post-doctoral studies at the MPIZ. He was recounting my accomplishments when I came to visit. But the best thing I've ever done is to stay at home with my children--and my biggest achievement was getting them to take a nap at the same time!

We

We made a trip to Chicago to celebrate my dad's birthday (July 4th) with the kids and I just love this picture of Dagny with her stuffed cats. We had a great time swimming in the pool, taking walks, lighting fireworks, and opening presents. 

The summer before we moved to SC, my parents visited us in WA. It would be the last visit they could manage. Since then, we've made a couple of trips to Chicago.  

This is the last picture I have of my father, when my sister and her husband went to visit. Please pray for the repose of the soul of my father, and for his dear, devoted wife, who loved him best. They had 45 happy years together, but now she will face the future without him. However, in marrying my father, she gained a family. I look forward to the time when she can visit us in SC. Today is Gaudete Sunday: Rejoice in the Lord always!

Our Amazing Brain

The words of the year were Heal, Restore, Renew. And what a journey it has been. It began with an online retreat with Fr. Shawn Monahan during Advent: The Path to Healing Our Broken Hearts - Oblates of the Virgin Mary. I wrote about it here: Vijaya Bodach: On Healing where I also reviewed key concepts in Be Healed: A Guide to Encountering the Powerful Love of Jesus in Your Life by Bob Schuchts. Truly, I am learning to become the person God created me to be.

We are body-mind-spirit and too often I have neglected the mental/emotional aspects. I began with the physical, then the spiritual, and over the years paying more attention to my mental health. 

The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain by John Sarno really helped me to accept that my emotions could have caused the chronic migraines. The migraines became horrible during our conversion. Our pastor believed that it was a spiritual attack and I'm sure it was. Every time I've made a quantum leap in my spiritual journey, it's been preceded by horrible migraines. But there's another aspect that I totally ignored--my feelings. Going from a devil-may-care attitude to recognizing the evil within myself hurt deeply. It is a very good thing that the Holy Spirit does not reveal all our sins at once--we would die from the horror of it all. 

Some people might believe that Dr. Sarno is blaming the victim--it's absolutely not that. He writes, "It is important to avoid the pejorative conclusion that because emotions are implicated in etiology, patients are making themselves sick. This is no more logical than feeling guilty for "letting" bacteria into the body. People with psychogenic illness are not deliberately making themselves sick or pretending to be unwell. What we are seeing is the interplay of complicated processes, both physiological and psychological, outside the conscious awareness and control." See a summary of how repressed emotions contribute to chronic pain: Seven key lessons from “Healing Back Pain” by Dr. John Sarno. Of course, he encourages people to rule out physical issues but warns how Western medicine promotes a structural/physical basis of pain and then pills/surgery as the cure. Even functional medicine doctors promote this attitude looking for the root cause, which is well and good, but do not delve into the psyche of the person.

I remember that the first book I read about pain being caused in the brain itself was Back in Control: A Surgeon's Roadmap out of Chronic Pain by David Hanscom. I wrote a lengthy review here: Vijaya Bodach: Chronic Migraines and Healing: Part I -- Back in Control. I have to return to those principles again and again. I recognize how writing and other creative pursuits saved my life. Deo gratias! See: Back in Control Roadmap - Back in Control

The Brain's Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity by Norman Doidge was such a joy to read. Each chapter delves into a natural modality of healing, from doing the mental work to exercising mindfully to light therapy and my favorite: the special connection we have with music, what happens in the brain. The stories of people who've suffered from various neurological problems, who were given no hope by traditional Western medicine, but who experimented with other methods and found healing are so inspiring. If you have to read one book on our amazing brain, make it this one! 

The deeper I dive into studying the brain, the more I'm in awe of how beautifully we are designed. Caroline Leaf reminds us of this in her book Switch on Your Brain: the Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health. Our thoughts can actually change the structure of our brains. I really liked that she ties together Biblical principles with science (though some of her science could use more precision).

I'm trying not to make an idol out of my health but I am grateful for the better health I'm enjoying and for the countless blessings God has showered upon me. Peace is the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain and Illness by Maureen Pratt reminds me to be more accepting of how things are. Not perfect! 

Fall in DC

It's been so lovely to spend some time with Max and Laura in DC and some of their close friends. Our first night we went to Chai Pani, a wonderful Indian restaurant, and then went for a walk in their neighborhood. Here I am in front of the Library of Congress.

 

We had a beautiful walk to the Museum of the Bible. I loved seeing all the old artefacts. One thing that came to mind is Cardinal St. John Henry Newman's observation, that to be steeped in history is to cease to be Protestant.

We could've spent many more hours in this museum but we'd promised to cook supper (they both had to work all day). So fun to cook in their cute little kitchen--we'd picked up fresh fish and vegetables at the Eastern market across the street and Laura had chocolate from a special shop in VA. So delicious. I'm still enjoying a couple of squares daily :)

We went to the market again Saturday morning but this time, a couple of the streets were blocked off for various vendors. Then off to the Georgetown cemetery for a Rosary walk to get our plenary indulgence! The fall colors are absolutely stunning. So much beauty!

The Dumbarton Oaks was near the cemetery. They had a tropical garden too. My favorite room was the music room--I could picture the intimate setting for a small ensemble. 

Dinner at El Presidente--I loved the food, the tapestry, and the taxidermy. Fun to visit Max's office just around the corner. So great to see all the places he hangs out. He works hard and plays hard. I'm so proud of him. 

 

Sunday morning we walked to St. Joseph's for Mass, then to Butterworth's for lunch. I had the most delicious bone marrow (topped with snails that Max ate from the cute little cup). 

Yes, our family is growing! This wonderful priest is preparing Max and Laura for Holy Matrimony.