Memoirs and the Creative Life

It's strange but although I was fully planning on reading some fiction, these memoirs came on my radar... 

Suleika Jaouad's Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted was beautifully written without a trace of sentimentality, even though all her dreams of becoming a war correspondent were shattered upon the diagnosis of leukemia. She spent nearly four years in the hospital enduring chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. While there, she began writing. I love that it began as a 100-day project upon a suggestion of a social worker and that it turned into a blog and a column for the New York Times. She is a gifted writer. I loved that she had a supportive family, a boyfriend who dropped everything to care for her, and friends all over the country. After she was "cured" she realized she didn't know how to live. This is when healing begins. She confronts her fears, goes on a 100-day journey, meeting people she'd corresponded with from her hospital bed. She finds herself. 

The Book of Alchemy is a collection of 100 personal essays and writing prompts from different creatives, each with an introduction from Suleika Jaouad. It is a book one can dive into over and over and perhaps some of the prompts will become your favorite exercises. 

There I Am: A Journey from Hopelessness to Healing by Ruthie Lindsey was so beautifully written. She drew me into her life, her family, and then into the harrowing pain that was her constant companion. How ironic that she was hit by an ambulance. And the surgery that saved her life also gave her a life of chronic pain. Modern medicine can be amazing but it does not address pain very well. How she crawled out of the pit of darkness by choosing to focus on little moments of beauty and joy was the road to her healing. I just loved how much support she had from her family. I recommend reading this if you suffer from any kind of pain and sorrow. You will be enveloped in Ruthie's compassion. 

Reading Just Making by Mitali Perkins was like having a delicious cup of tea with the author as she shares her journey as a children's writer, the questions she asks herself, the lessons she's learned, and encourages us all to keep making--bring truth, goodness, and beauty into a suffering world.

Joyride by Susan Orlean was the most disappointing of all the memoirs, even though she's a wonderful writer, is curious, and adventurous. Although I learned a lot about the magazine world and the stories she chased, it left me hollow. She writes that this memoir is about her stories, but I expected more of herself in it. The personal moments are extremely guarded. Why write a memoir then? Thanks to Netgalley for providing me a review copy. 

On the Journey Home

Several years ago, when I wrote my Love Story, a commentator encouraged me to contact Marcus Grodi, host of the Journey Home Program. It is one of my favorite shows on EWTN and my husband and I watched it every Monday night for many years. So I contacted them (a year later) and I received instructions for writing my testimony for the newsletter, which I subscribed to. I began, only for it to fall off the radar, with the publication of BOUND. So imagine my surprise and delight to be invited to be on the show! I said yes!

 

Much has changed. I didn't realize Marcus retired; his son, JonMarc, now hosts the show. I hadn't watched any for a couple of years because my barbershop practice is on Monday nights, the same night that the show airs. They are archived on their website, so I was able to catch up on a few conversion stories--so very inspiring. 

As I prepared for giving my own testimony, I was first concerned with looking and sounding good, as good as I write, but by the grace of God I realized the focus was all wrong. This is HIS story, what He is doing in my life. So Monday night, after a sumptuous Greek dinner, I tuned in to my barbershop rehearsal. I learned the next morning that Rakhi was running lines for her musical :)

I brought books from my Catholic writing group as gifts to the wonderful staff--Matt Swaim, who contacted me (he's been reading this blog for a while); Rakhi McCormick, communications coordinator; Bill, studio manager (who really needs to share his conversion story more widely); and Alyssa, makeup artist. Don't we clean up nicely? Another convert, Chris Kellam, also flew in for taping so we all had wonderful conversations during the time we had together. I discovered that speaking on air is so very different than writing because it's extemporaneous. I had to back-track; I cried; I wondered whether something I said might hurt another. But I received insights too, that I am still processing. I'll be sure to post a link when my episode is live. Below, Bill and Rakhi and Matt making sure all the technology is working properly. Being in the studio made me want to make an audio recording of BOUND.

I don't travel much because of my poor head, but I was able to manage pain well. Everything went smoothly, even coming home. I kept noticing that the departure time kept getting delayed and delayed and once I realized I wouldn't make my connecting flight to Charleston, I asked to be re-routed. I did not want to spend the night in Philadelphia. I ended up in DC for a couple of hours and learned that Max was at a rooftop party to celebrate the anniversary of Apollo 11. Oh, how I would've loved to join in the fun--knowing Max, it would've been a blast. See: The Butterworths Man #2 - by Bart - Kill All Foodies. For all I know, he might have had a hand in my interview at Journey Home, by his encouragement to write for The Lamp. I'm highly motivated to write a full-length spiritual memoir because there are so many riches to share. Deo gratias! 

Thanks be to God I arrived home Tue night in time to make my Wed appts. The first thing we did after work was to go to the beach--it was windy and I got smacked down by the waves but so happy to be home with Michael again. I'm encouraging him to write his testimony too. His story. All history is HIS story!!!

Three Memoirs

I read three memoirs recently, each so unique and heartbreaking, I found myself in prayer after finishing them. Daughters of Palestine by Leyla K. King is a memoir spanning a hundred years of the women in her family, from the demise of the Ottoman Empire to WWII to the creation of Israel, and what it meant for their family to be displaced from their ancestral homeland. We often forget the plight of the Palestinian Christians who are caught in the crossfire between Jews and Muslims. It is sad that there are so few Christians remaining in the Holy Land, the place where Christianity as born. But Christians have a unique perspective: we know we are merely pilgrims on this earth; we pray for the grace to be brought to our eternal home in heaven with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Ms. King has captured the voices of her ancestors in this book. It's an intimate portrayal of a family amidst the tumultuous and bloodiest events in recent history. You can see some of the family photographs here: Daughters of Palestine: – The Thankful Priest – Leyla King I highly recommend this fast-paced memoir. You can pair it with Lawrence of Arabia by Scott Anderson to get a sense of how the modern Middle East was created. Many thanks to Eerdmans for a review copy of Daughters of Palestine. 

Coincidentally, today is also the Feast of St. Charbel Makhlouf, a Lebanese priest-monk known for his holiness. Let us pray to him for peace in the Middle East. 

Kiki Latimer interviewed me on Catholic Bookworm and when I learned she'd gone to India and shared her letters and journal entries in a book, Seeing God's Face, I knew I had to have it. It is such an honest account --of being moved to tears by poverty and injustice, but also experiencing the simple joys of sharing tea and sweets. Even though these writings are from 20 years ago, they evoked so many memories of my own from 50 years ago. This picture of the family on the moped could've been ours. The writing is beautiful and uncensored--how I wish I could write like this, with searing honesty.

 

This last memoir, Mother Mary Comes to Me by Arundhati Roy, is one I devoured. I'd read her first novel, The God of Small Things, when it came out nearly 30 years ago, when I had just returned from a month in India after a 20-year absence. It slayed me. I didn't realize how much of it is autobiographical until I read the memoir. My heart broke for the little girl who never knew unconditional love and for the young woman who was so poor, she lived in a shanty while going to school (to study architecture). I loved that she had the courage to leave the home she knew to forge a better life for herself. She worked hard. She was writing screenplays with her husband before she turned to novel writing and what a debut! I could see how all the beautiful and ugly things shaped her. She's tenacious, clinging to life from the beginning, and following her dreams. Winning the Booker granted her everything that money could buy and she continues to be generous with her wealth, having known abject poverty and injustice herself. I sensed a wounded heart that hasn't healed. She's prickly. Because the one thing that comes up again and again is that the place of refuge becomes a dangerous place. Is it any wonder that I am moved to pray for her, that she may discover the unconditional love of God for her. I hope someone places Henri Nouwen's Life of the Beloved in her hands. It is so hard to believe in God when one is abandoned by the very people who are supposed to care for you, love you. Love doesn't have to be a transaction. Thanks to Net Galley for a review copy. 

Plague of Corruption

Plague of Corruption: Restoring Faith in the Promise of Science by Judy Mikovits and Kent Heckenlively might be the most important book I've read this year. However, it has not restored my faith in science. On the contrary, it has diminished my trust in our health care system, particularly at the highest levels that issue forth guidelines. From the food pyramid (maligning fats) to the vaccine guidelines, it's clear that our leaders do not care about our health nor the health of our children anymore. They might have started out with good intentions but when new data came forth showing the harm of certain products (like masks, certain vaccines), the data have been shoved under the rug to protect the pockets of big companies who lobby many of our government institutions. It's an incestuous relationship that benefits only them. No wonder health care is a billion-dollar industry. Beware.

This book would make a good movie. It's got dedicated yet naïve scientists who uncover interesting details of new diseases, villains (you'd think these are the bugs themselves, but sadly, it's other scientists or govt. regulatory bodies), and ethical questions at its core. I devoured this book because I enjoy medical mysteries. However, I realize that not everybody is interested in esoteric details or gossip between scientists. So I recommend reading the Foreword and Introduction that's available with the "Look Inside" Feature. It will shed a great deal of light on the current situation with Covid and why we need to fight mandates that have no scientific basis.  

I studied microbiology and biochemistry in the 1980s and 1990s and read many of the original papers regarding the new field of retroviruses, pioneered by Dr. Mikovitz's boss, Dr. Frank Ruscetti (and others). The central dogma of information flow for many years was DNA-->mRNA-->protein. Retroviruses have RNA as their genetic material (hence the "retro" part) and they have an enzyme, Reverse Transcriptase (RT) that transcribes the RNA into DNA. Why, you may ask? Probably because RNA is unstable. With a stable DNA template, the virus can hijack cellular machinery to make multiple copies of the RNA and viral proteins and packaging them into new infectious particles. However, RT is prone to making mistakes so this allows for these viruses to mutate more quickly and respond to environmental stresses to maximize survival. Remember, a successful virus is one that can hang out in a population. If it kills too quickly, it cannot spread far and wide. In fact, some of the most successful viruses have actually integrated into our own cells. Some of them are quiet. Others are activated and can cause diseases. Many autoimmune diseases and cancers have a viral component and it's fascinating to see how our genes interact with the environment.

So what is all this corruption about? Dr. Mikovitz found a link between Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) and XMRV (a mouse retrovirus). How in the world does a mouse virus get into humans? Via vaccines. 

That's because to make a vaccine, you have to grow the viruses in cell-lines. Whether or not we used a killed-virus vaccine or one that's attenuated to be less infectious (by passing through several generations in cell lines) you have to realize that what goes into the arm is not a pure concoction but rather a mixture containing other animal viruses, heavy metals, and other nasty things that can cause disease. And the more you vaccinate, the more likely you might reach a tipping point that can awaken a sleeping monster.  

We're used to thinking about vaccines as magic bullets. But for certain sub-populations, these bullets end up harming the person and usually these are children. We do not monitor their immune responses; we just take them in for shot after shot thinking we're protecting them from deadly diseases. But consider what an immature immune system is being presented with: multiple pathogens that challenge the immune system and some of these children's immune systems get so thoroughly out of balance, they end up with auto-immune diseases. There's also a link to mitochondrial dysfunction (mitochondria are the powerhouses of the cell) with ME/CFS and autism.    

During the early days of HIV/AIDS we asked so many questions. Some were answered, some not, but it was an exciting time. It is Dr. Mikovitz's work that commuted AIDS from a death sentence to one that's managed with multi-drug therapy. However, in my naivete, it did not occur to me that some things would be kept from being published. I always believed in the free exchange of ideas--that's why we pursue science--so I feel the same way Dr. Mikovitz feels, the outrage of not examining more closely what we know when new information comes to light. We have to shift our practices if we discover that we are actually harming some people. But there's a lot at stake--pride and money--and even the best of us can be corrupted. And Dr. Mikovitz uncovers a great deal of it. And guess, who's mixed up in all this? Dr. Fauxi. 

What we're seeing today, the suppression of data regarding Covid, is absolutely criminal. Scientists in India have been using the anti-parasitic drugs, hydroxychloroquinine or  Ivermectin, as a prophylactic, but also as a treatment for patients with Covid in combination with Zinc and Azithromycin. But because this protocol is still not approved by the FDA, it opened the door to using experimental vaccines on an emergency basis. From the beginning, it was touted as the thing that's going to save humanity from what is basically a disease that has a similar mortality rate as influenza. Yes, that was the first lie--that Covid is 10x deadlier than the flu. The next lie was that asymptomatic people can infect others. And on and on... diabolical. And now with the FDA giving its approval to the Pfizer mRNA gene-therapy, there will be more mandates, even though there were no proper controls. All of this is very disturbing. It's bad science; it's bad medicine. And our freedom to live according to our conscience is being eroded. Job or jab? And unfortunately, those who speak out against the lies are shut down. There is no debate, no examination of the data. But thank God for the people who are willing to put their lives and careers on the line, who are brave and I am joining them in this fight. 

I've had to rethink everything I know about infection and immunology in light of retroviruses and quiescent ones in our own DNA, how they could get activated. I too have observed an explosion of people with chronic ailments and allergies (I'm one of them with chronic migraines). Although I have always believed that vaccinations have saved lives (and even participated in a Phase III trial for Hepatitis B vaccine) I'm not sure whether people have been able to separate the effects of vaccines vs. those of good sanitation and hygiene. But increasingly, I am concerned that we might be doing more harm by having so many vaccinations. With my own children, I followed the regular protocol, declining the ones I thought weren't necessary because I kept my children at home until they were old enough for school. Thank God they didn't face any adverse reactions but I truly feel terrible for the parents whose children were harmed. I wonder if there's a schedule of vaccinations that minimizes damage.

We are made beautifully with a well-designed immune system that works to defend our bodies from various pathogens. The skin is the largest organ in the body and it's amazing! So are our T-cells and B-cells and clotting mechanisms. But they can go haywire as well and the current crop of so-called Covid vaccines may do just that. Never before have we been successful at making an effective vaccine for coronaviruses because they cause the body to hyper-react when challenged with the pathogen (it's called antibody-dependent enhancement or ADE). I don't know whether natural infection also causes it (in the case of dengue fever, there's ADE) but we'll see what happens with Covid this winter. The advantage of natural infection is that you get both T-cell and B-cell immunity that's long-lasting.  

I find Plague of Corruption credible. I believe the science and the documents Dr. Mikovitz has shared. She has great passion and I respect people who are willing to suffer for the truth. May we all be so courageous. 

I just finished Henry Miller on Writing and what a joy to read his "voyage of discovery" even as I struggle to write what matters deeply to me. I was introduced to him via Anais Nin many years ago and they both played a part in my own awakening. So it was especially interesting to read his thoughts on censorship. It's almost prophetic. He writes: "...there exists one morality for peace times and another for war. In times of war everything is permitted, everything condoned. That is to say, everything abominable and infamous committed by the winning side... In cold blood, years before any outbreak, they prepare to make others do their bidding; mentally they embrace every conceivable form of horror and destruction, and they set about their business calmly, deliberately, ruthlessly, waiting only for the opportune moment to put their plans into execution." This gave me chills as I thought about the people involved in Event201 leading up to AD 2020. 

Recently my publisher for Little Thief! Chota Chor! sent me book plates to sign and return so I was thinking about what's underneath the story and it's this: Question everything! Question your assumptions. And as we learn new things, revise your thinking. Truly, it's a re-visioning. And here I am envisioning the future, with the King and Queen of Heaven reigning! And not a mosquito in sight :)

The Longest Lent--Easter Blessings

God is pouring so many blessings upon our family during this pandemic. Books are just one of them. A while back, I'd read in Publisher's Weekly about a new book, The Boy Who Dreamed of Infinity: a Tale of the Genius Ramanujan by Amy Alznauer, illustrated by Daniel Miyares. Holy smokes! I love his work. And after I took a peek with the Amazon Look Inside feature, I began to drool and knew I had to have it--the writing lyrical and luminous, the art capturing the beauty and pathos of this great mind. Then I read an interview over on Picture Book Builders and entered the giveaway and I WON!!!

The book arrived last week, along with a letter and a card made by Meltem Aktas. I love Byzantine art so what joy to know of Meltem and her work. I'll be sending links to our pastor at St. Clare of Assisi because we'll need art for our new church! I've read the book numerous times and shared it with the whole family. It is amazing how Amy has written about something complex so beautifully. It really does give you a glimpse into the mind of God. I felt the same way as a scientist--there is such beauty in numbers and patterns. I wept reading about the "thoughts of God on your tongue." How frustrating to not be able to share them with anybody! But thank God, Ramanujan wrote to Hardy and decades later Amy's father went to Cambridge and came across a box of paper including the Lost Notebook by Ramanujan. This book wouldn't exist otherwise and neither would I have gotten to know Amy. I've been perusing her gorgeous website with an invitation to Enter the Stories. I discovered that she was at the movie premiere of Ramanujan among other interesting bits... 

Amy has two more picture books coming out this year--The Strange Birds of Flannery O'Connor and Flying Paintings: the Zhou Brothers: a Story of Revolution and Art. Soooo exciting!!! You all know my own love of Flannery. I'm going to have to wait to get these books but in the meantime, I bought her memoir, Love and Salt: a Spiritual Friendship Shared in Letters. What a joy to read these private thoughts of two friends as they navigate marriage and motherhood and careers. They walk together, and together seek God. I loved this format because it is so raw and personal and honest and echoes so many of the thoughts I've shared with my sister and friends on my own spiritual journey. I'm in the middle of it and bawling. I'm also delighted by our similarities--the Ayn Rand phase, the Teresas, the preoccupation with death, the acedia, vainglory, and wonderment. This book is a treasure. I often think the most important writing I do is hidden--writing letters, writing prayers, writing hopes and dreams--and this book reminds me that it's good. To parody the last line of Charlotte's Web and Casablanca: It is not often that someone comes along who is a convert, a mathematician, and a good writer. I pray this is the start of a true and beautiful friendship. Deo gratias!

Write 2 Ignite: A True Witness Conference Recap

"Blessed are those who hear the Word of God and keep it." My Gospel Reflection for today is up on CatholicMom. 

I've missed going to Write2Ignite, but with school and sports, it was a busy time in our lives. But this weekend Michael accompanied me and it was so lovely to be amongst faithful Christian writers. The conference team put together a great conference with a useful booklet containing all the conference information along with room to write, a notebook, pen, and chocolate! All in this pretty bag. I enjoyed all the keynotes so very much and delighted that the topics on my mind: writing memoir, the conversion story, and writing a controversial book all tied into the theme of being a true witness. I know I'll be back next year. Save the dates: Sept. 18-19th, 2020.

Even though I was busy most of Saturday, I had the chance to listen to a couple of workshops. The first was by Todd Williams, Editor-in-Chief of Union Gospel Press. He spoke about how God's Word gives us helpful insights about writing that's engaging. We have doctrine, commands, poems, letters, appeals, stories, mysteries, and so much more. He explained the five parts of effective communication--collecting ideas, organizing them, expressing them, must be understood by others, and finally the reader is changed. I will not forget that writing *is* Logos. He is looking to assign good children's writers for Sunday school materials. He emphasized how difficult it is to find people who can write for children. So, if this interests you, contact him. I like how precise he is--the qualities necessary in a good editor.

I also enjoyed Daniel Blackaby's lecture on Tolkein, Lewis, and the Christian Imagination. I've read much about the Inklings but it's always a delight to listen to people who've studied their works in far greater depth than I have. I'd forgotten how much Tolkein disliked Lewis' Narnia, saying they were "almost worthless--carelessly written jumble of unrelated mythologies." Talk about a scathing critique. Now that I understand my faith better, I might actually agree. Michael O'Brien gives a good account in his book: A Landscape with Dragons. I no longer read much fantasy, but if that's what you like check out Blackaby's books. 

Nancy Lohr, Acquisitions Editor at JourneyForth Books, gave such an inspiring keynote on Truth-FULL Writing. She spoke about the culture of relativism, how truth is a moving target. She quoted George Orwell: "In a time of deceit, telling the truth is revolutionary." We live in such times now and should look at this as an opportunity to share the truth. She reminded us that we cannot give what we do not possess already; we can only write what's within our gifts; write the felt needs; write to be light and salt. It was an excellent primer for my workshop later in the afternoon on writing controversial books. I would love to work with her on a book, except I've not written anything that meets their guidelines. 

The closing keynote was from Edie Melson on the New Paradigm of Social Media. I was sitting near a group of youngsters and they were chuckling over us old folks getting instructions on using Facebook, Twitter and Instagram as they scrolled over their feeds. Edie mentioned that the majority of social media is conducted over a mobile device. She's not just an expert on this and other internetty things (she has a top notch blog called The Write Conversation) but a writer of inspirational books for creatives as well as novels. Her latest, Unruffled, is out today! Edie is wonderful, reminding us that perhaps the world of social media might be the darkest, that we need to be light and salt. I couldn't agree more... if that is your gift.

Here are some fun pictures of old friends and new, and the beautiful campus of Northern Greenville University. Glory, Glory to God!!!