The Sunday before (18th) was the last we spoke to our mother. She was hospitalized and you cannot imagine the relief of not being the 24/7 caregivers. I'd stop by the hospital on my way home from school and spend some time combing her hair or holding her hand. She was unresponsive, in a deep sleep, possibly a coma, her breath shallow but even. I wondered if she was aware of my presence. I didn't think to pray for her. But earlier, she had told me that she had seen her father and her little son, both whom had died many years earlier, so I knew she would be escorted by her most loved people to the throne of God. I thought all this even as an atheist. Strange, no, to believe in an afterlife and a God when you don't have a personal relationship with Him? But I had no concerns, no thought of heaven or hell per se ...
It is only now that I offer prayers for her soul should she need them, for a soul in heaven has no need of our prayers. And I am sure that not a single prayer goes wasted for she will use a prayer for those who need it the most. But deep in my heart, I feel she has reached heaven. I do wish that people wouldn't instantly make everybody a saint at funerals. I know it is probably to make the family feel better, but the best thing we can do for our beloved dead is to offer prayers for them. I remember reading the text of the Requiem Mass the first time and saw that even the Agnus Dei, we pray only for the deceased. And so, I'll be offering a prayer for all our beloved dead. Requiescat in pace, Ai. I am deeply grateful for everything you've done for me, both here on earth and in heaven. And I hope you will come to escort me when it is my time.
