This summer I've taken several online classes, but Art of Flow was my first art class. I've been going to First Friday Crafternoons with Edie at our library for a couple of years now--it's two hours of exploration and play. I used to sketch a lot as a child (and get punished for it because it was in the school notebooks, or on the walls, oy) so I stopped. Oh, I still doodled and even made a couple of homemade books with stick figures for the kids when they were little, but my creative energy was focused on writing and then music. What a balm it has been. And now something new!
I can't tell you what a gift it is to be a beginner. To play. The older I get, the more I return to my child-self.
I came into this class thinking I'd like to paint four seasons since we'd be working with four panels. But I let go of all expectations that first day as we began exploring colors--opposites. Then came tissue papers for collaging. On a whim I painted some words too. Why not? I love words. I collected leaves, grass, and flowers, since I love organic materials and natural textures. But oh boy, did I discover that they are a pain to work with the following day. I probably didn't have the proper glue either...but I pressed ahead. My "believe" panel got ruined when I began glazing, so the next couple of days were spent trying different things to salvage it. I wanted to scrape away all the tissue paper, but I decided to see where it might go. So painted over the bits I didn't like, added more tissue paper.
I discovered that I liked painting the leaves! I added some feathers and tiny words, sand and seashells. I'm still not completely happy with these, but I learned so much, and a lot applies to my writing life. I'm learning to let go of expectations, to sit with uncertainty, to sit with questions. Below, the evolution, the process. Strangely, they tell me a story in the order I've place them at the end.
There was a private FB group for those of us taking the class and some of the paintings were so breathtaking. It gives me hope for my own journey. Gabbi would do a reading before the start of class and share a poem or quote. Some favorites:
Consider all the unknown possibilities for joy. What will thrill you? What might you love that you don't even know yet? What are you certain there is more of? ~ Rhonda Willers (Isolation Journals) inspired by Emily Dickinson's poem: I dwell in Possibility.
One thing you must do is accept whatever comes of it without concern for the outcome. Otherwise you will be stuttering when you could be singing! ~ Stephen Wesley Gorton, Gabbi's friend and mentor.
Invariably the resistance to this exercise comes from a desire to be in control, and a fear of being out of control. Concern for the outcome becomes the impediment. The desire for control is the left-brain intellect wagging its finger at you because it thinks that your well-being resides exclusively in the known. ~ SWG
Do whatever brings you to life. Follow your own fascinations, obsessions, and compulsions. Trust them. Create whatever causes a revolution in your heart. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert