I hope to share a few things on my Lenten/consecration journey and one of the blessings of a blog or website is that even if I lose my notebook, I will have these notes online.
The daily readings began with the beatitudes ... and I struggle most with the first one, blessed are the poor in spirit ... for my ego is large and I do enjoy when I am rewarded in this world for my work. I want so much to do everything for the glory of God, yet I want to have some of it for myself. Sigh. This first period is for developing detachment from this world and it is difficult.
This is what I prayed for, from Imitation Book 3, Chap. 40
True vainglory is an evil plague, because it draws away from true glory, and robs us of heavenly grace. For, while a man takes complacency in himself, he displeases Thee; while he looks for human applause, he is deprived of true virtues. But true, glory and holy exultation is to glory in Thee, and not in one's self; to rejoice in Thy Name, but not in one's own strength. To find pleasure in no creature, save only for Thy sake. Let Thy Name be praised, not mine; let Thy work be magnified, not mine; let Thy Holy Name be blessed, but let nothing be attributed to me of the praise of men.
But is it a true prayer when I am still so attached to the praises the world might offer me, for cooking or writing or having lovely children?