A Not So Happy Mother's Day

I am speechless ... but let me see if I can try to string together some words about what I think is appalling news.

First, that our president is in favor of gay marriage. And says so publicly. And touts the golden rule as his reason. Spare me. Spare us all. Since I am at a loss for words, please read a very thoughtful response to what's happening by Msgr. Pope.

To make matters worse, here is Melinda Gates on a new mission -- to bring contraception to the world --  in the name of social justice. Thud! And she says she's a practicing Catholic. Really? She even says she's a "pick and choose" Catholic, which actually means she's a heretic. Yes, I learned the true meaning of the word from the above mentioned blog by Msgr. Pope.

It is very sad that both these people use Christianity to promote the exact opposite of what Christ tells us. Whatever happened to "if you love Me, keep my commandment"?

It is not a happy Mother's Day at all ... when the meaning of marriage is being distorted, and the state of motherhood is being touted as one of great burden, one that should be avoided.

Sigh.

Consider the idea of marriage, a covenant between one man and one woman. It is present in almost all cultures for a reason. Because it is natural law, stamped onto our very hearts. I love that when a man and a woman get married in a Catholic church, it is called the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. First, marriage is a sacrament. It is sacred and set apart. And what is this matrimony business? Why, it is the state of becoming a mother. Imagine! So beautiful.

On the bright side, I just realized that tomorrow is the anniversary of the first apparition of our Blessed Mother to the children at Fatima. It will be a happy Mother's Day after all ... especially since my mind continually goes to Ave Maria.

Another beauteous thing in our lives right now -- practicing a Mozart Mass for Pentecost.

I wish all you wonderful mothers a very happy, and a very blessed Mother's Day.

On Contraception, Infertility and a Faith Journey

The Infertility Companion for Catholics by Angelique Ruhi-Lopez and Carmen Santamaria clearly explains the Church's teachings on using various reproductive technologies that are used to make babies for couples who cannot conceive naturally. The problem with many of these methods, like IVF, is that they destroy the unitive aspect of marriage. It is the opposite of contraception, which destroys the procreative aspect of marital union. Just because we can do something, doesn't necessarily mean we should do it. That was my first thought when I first learned about this technology about 30 years ago. Even though I was not religious at the time, natural law is stamped onto our very hearts. It seemed very, very wrong to make a baby in a Petri dish, as though babies are commodities. Today there are thousands of frozen embryos, nicknamed "snowflakes" or "frosties" that are awaiting their fate. Over half will perish since cryopreservation is still an infant science. Pretty dismal since we're talking about humans.

This book explains the techniques that are available to couples who are experiencing infertility that may help them to conceive a child (ex. hormonal supplements to bring hormone levels into balance or surgery to correct anatomical problems), all the while preserving the dignity of all involved, and reminding us that God is the Author of all life.

The authors also provide an extensive bibliography of Church documents online that explain doctrine thoroughly, so that if a new technology comes up to help child-less couples, they can return to basic principles and decide whether it violates the sanctity and dignity of all human life.

I especially appreciated the chapter on discernment, because it can be applied to not just any reproductive technology or the decision to adopt, but also for any number of life-changing situations where it is crucial we make the right decision, be it changing jobs or houses. I also enjoyed the chapters on how one can bear this difficult cross without turning into a bear oneself. It reminds us that we ought to pray with humility and steadfastness. God knows our hearts, but more importantly, He knows what is best for us and has a plan. So it is very important to love and trust God, and His timing, and also His answers -- yes, no, not now. He always answers our prayers.

I borrowed this book because my husband and I have now joined the ranks of couples who are carrying the cross of infertility. I know that I am beyond the age that most women conceive (the CDC only counts women from age 15-45 in their assessments) and that our problem is self-inflicted (my husband had a vasectomy ten years ago), but I share this sense of loss with these women. For the first time, I mourn the children we could've had but didn't because of our own selfishness, pride, and slavery to sin.

But thank God for showing us the way back to Him. He is a God of great mercy and love, and as we grew in our faith, we felt compelled for my husband to have a reversal surgery so that our marriage will be again open to new life. I am no spring chicken, but we know that nothing is impossible for God. Children are a gift from the Lord.

Oddly enough it was my dreams of writing as well as being a tired mother (I was no spring chicken when I had my two) that made us so casual about doing this sort of permanent sterilization. Contraception and sterilization is part of the culture. We decide when to have children. We decide how many. In fact, when I was pregnant with my second child, and we knew she had to be born via Cesarean section because she was huge (they estimated 9 lbs, but she was a tenner) my doctor asked me whether I wanted my tubes tied since she was going to have to open me up anyways. I remember crying. I managed to tell her “no.” We might want more babies. She said fine. But I couldn’t stop weeping. I’m sure hormones had something to do with it, but in retrospect, what I couldn’t put into words then, but realize now, is that my heart knew I would be destroying something amazing and wonderful. However, a year later, I was writing again, and a few months after, when my periods began, I was terrified. The thought of giving up something I had just recently discovered (writing) felt like a tremendous sacrifice, after I’d already given up working as a scientist. Never mind, that mothering and writing are not mutually exclusive. And so the dreadful deed was done. My husband, a willing accomplice, got a vasectomy for his 40th birthday. No doctor counseled us that this is a very, very bad idea. Instead, we reveled – all the sex one could want without the babies …

Now, I am having modest success as a writer. I think I finally know how to write a novel, and life is good with our two children. I thank God for them every day. So why can’t we be satisfied with what we have? Why rock the boat? Why invite trouble? I cannot explain this compulsion, but it has to do with abandoning ourselves to God. We feel a greater peace and joy than ever before in knowing we are not saying “No” to God anymore. If He decides to bless us with a child, we are open to that blessing, and to His plans for our life. And if we never have another child, I know it is because He has other plans for me. He knows me better than I know myself and so I keep going back to "Thy will be done."

I look to these old couples from Scripture – Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Elkanah and Hannah, Zechariah and Elizabeth, Jochaim and Anne (parents of Mary) – and they fill me with faith, hope and love.

I humbly ask for your prayers and I’m grateful you are with me on this journey. It helps to talk and write about these things. It’s part and parcel of figuring out how in the world good people end up doing terrible things. I'm beginning to see that it is from fear. The antidote: God. God = Love. And perfect love casts out fear.

I’ve rambled long enough. But I wanted to share a beautiful quote on stages of our relationship with God from St. Jose Maria Escriva: to be resigned to the will of God; to conform to the will of God, to want the will of God; to love the will of God.

I think it encapsulates our ongoing faith journey perfectly.

God bless you all.
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Reading

How I wish I had Treasure Trove when I was first starting out writing articles for children's magazines. Ms. Abramovitz guides the novice writer through the basics, then hones in on the practical details from idea to publication and the numerous steps in-between for the remainder of the book. She gives examples and anecdotes from her own work and various other children's authors to make the process transparent. I will be recommending this to all my students who are interested in writing nonfiction.


So many of us start out writing the Great American Novel. Nothing wrong with that, of course, and I know authors who've sold their first ever novel. But for the vast majority, it is good to learn the elements of good writing by writing short stories and articles. And if you peruse magazines you will find that 80% of the content is nonfiction. What editors receive 80% of the time is fiction, though. I know we all yearn to write our own stories, but if you have a special interest in science or languages or math, try writing a well focused piece on it for children. I am so glad that the ICL course makes the students work on at least one nonfiction piece, and by far, these are the ones that my students sell. And many of my students who professed they did not like to write nonfiction get a bug for it. Give it a whirl. You will not be disappointed. And Treasure Trove will be a perfect companion for you as you navigate the world of children's magazines.


I cut my writing teeth on magazines and will forever be grateful for the opportunity to learn how to write clean and tight prose on deadline. I pretty much learned on the job, from the editors of Ladybug, Highlights, Odyssey, and many others. And I still write for magazines, though not as much because writing time is limited and I want to focus on my bigger books, but ideas hit me all the time, and all of them are not necessarily book worthy, so it's fun to explore these ideas for a magazine.


Healing Water: A Hawaiian Story by Joyce Moyer Hostetter is something I picked up for myself at the Write 2 Ignite conference. I love historical fiction and had already read Blue and Comfort, so I was intrigued by this story of a boy who had been banished to Molokai when he showed the signs of leprosy. What a story! Of love and betrayal, of separation and loss, of a boy turning to crime, hardening his heart, and then finding a way to forgive with the help of one of my favorite saints -- Father Damien. I had read a biography of Fr. Damien when I was about eight or nine years old, and have learned a fair bit about leprosy in my medical microbiology book, but I had no idea how lawless this place was, and how incredibly difficult it must have been to go there as a child, knowing that you are to live and to die there. Ms. Hostetter weaves a beautiful story of healing love. God's love.



It was such a pleasure to talk to her, and she was incredibly gracious, reading many pages of my current manuscript and offering advice. Thank you, Joyce, and God bless.


Pax Christi
 

Triple Seven

Faith tagged me for the Triple Seven meme so below is an excerpt from my novel, DAMAGED, which I am revising. I wonder how close to page 77 it will be when it is published. Given that I am adding scenes and cutting anything that needs to go ruthlessly, it may actually happen. Of course, I did some editing as soon as I copied this onto my blog. Okay, time to stop tinkering. Enjoy:

***

“We’re almost done. The nurse will give you the pills and we can go home. Okay?” I try to get as much of the gel off Joy's belly and clothes.

I know how awful it is to have anything done to your body. I remember screaming through all my debridement. They’d soak me in a tub and my rotting skin would peel off. What dead skin didn’t come off had to be scrubbed off. It was done daily to prevent infection. I was just a kid, but they’d hold me down anyway, and rub away my stinking flesh. I wonder how I survived as I scrape the paper towel over Joy’s belly one last time.

When I go to throw away the goopy towels, I look at the screen. It has the last shot, a grainy one, showing an almost empty cavity shaped like a giant kidney bean with a couple of blobs inside. One looks like a shrimp. The other blob is much tinier and round.

Joy stands beside me. “Is that the baby?

“Must be,” I say. “But right now, it’s just a bunch of cells clumped together. It’s not anything special.” I take a pen from the counter and draw on the paper sheet Joy had lain on -- two little circles, then four, eight, and finally a donut. “That’s how it begins. It’s just a cluster of cells.” But even as I say it, I marvel at how they know to become a pinky or a big toe.

“It’s so neat,” says Joy. “I want to take a picture with me.”

“You don’t want that,” I say, noticing how ugly and misshapen the head looks. “It’s like an alien from a movie.”

***
Most everybody I know has already posted excerpts. If you haven't, please consider yourself tagged and let me know. I've enjoyed reading everybody's wips. Here are the rules if you want to play.

1. Go to page seventy-seven of your manuscript.
2. Go down seven lines.
3. Post the next seven lines, sentences, or paragraphs on your blog.
4. Tag seven new writers.

Thanks Faith. Now I've improved seven paragraphs of my wip! Progress!
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Write 2 Ignite Conference Tidbits

It's been a month since the Write2Ignite conference and it's nice to have my notes with me to remember a few things. Janice and I got a wee bit lost in Greenville because my directions were not clear. Thank goodness for her cell phone that had a built in GPS because we were able to find our way to the hotel. I had planned on having a cup of tea and taking a nap after the long drive, but I didn't want to miss the keynote, so tea was all I had.

And it was worth it to miss the nap just to hear Kristi Butler speak. What energy! And how wonderful to begin with prayer and being aware of God's call in our lives. The best part was that she compiled a list of Scripture passages so that we could be reminded of God's promises. I will most likely put them on a separate permanent page on my blog. She says she has them taped to her bathroom mirror, and I think I might do that myself.

Here are a couple to whet your appetite:

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. Phil 2:13

Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do wonders among you.  Joshua 3;5

Kristi was such a generous soul -- she gave us each a feather to remind us not to let our dreams turn to dust and a river stone that she wrote "Remember" on. Both are in my office now ... along with my stones that say: Dream, Courage, and Peace (I picked out these other river rocks when I went through RCIA). So, aren't these lovely things? I have pinned the feather to my bulletin board to keep it safe from the cat.

And the Welch sisters (Donna and Rachel)  led us into a song. What lovely voices.

The breakout sessions that I went to were geared towards beginners and intermediate writers, and I tell you, no matter how long you've been writing, it is always good to be reminded of the basics. This is part of the reason why I love teaching at ICL so much -- when I preach about pacing or showing or being true to the characters, I am reminded to practice it in my own writing.

A couple of tidbits for you to ponder:

Joanna Lutz Echols, Editor of Clubhouse
Endings should be satisfying, tinged with dissatisfaction. Think yearing.

Nancy Lohr, Editor Journey Forth Books
Plot is what, driven by the so what?

Joyce Hostetter, author of historical fiction books like Blue, Comfort, & Healing Waters
Challenges us to tell the truth -- emotional and spiritual along with the factual.

Some practical advice from me:

I recommend you invest in a copy of Sowing Seeds by Kathleen Muldoon if you are interested in writing for the Christian magazine market. And remember that the consequences of choices the characters make must reflect the Biblical worldview. That's what makes it Christian fiction.


I had such a good time meeting Christian writers and editors. I confess I skipped one afternoon session to visit with Donna. Did you know that together we are a pina colada? She's pineapple and I'm coconut. Grin. I am immensely grateful to Cec Murphy for his generous grant that covered my tuition and for Janice Green who was a great companion for the long drive. We didn't get much sleep with all the gabbing we did ...

I almost forgot -- I won a drawing and came home with a lavender bath spa kit. My daughter was the first to use it! Such a treat. Thank you, Write2Ignite team.

Alrighty, that's it for now. I have a novel to revise before school ends.
Easter joy and blessings to all.
Pax Christi.
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This I Believe

This afternoon, my daughter brought in a packet from John Wiley. "Is this an Easter present for me?" she asked. Both my children know that I buy books as gifts and know not to open packages that come in the mail. Or else suffer my ire.



I told her, yes, but it was for me!


But she was the first to read my essay in a bound book form. I tell you, nothing can replace the smell and feel of a new book! My daughter told me she still does not like spicy food, which is true, but nothing stops her from dipping her dosa into a spicy sambar, just to get a taste.


Reading My Mother's Eggplant again made me realize how much I've gone through these past five years. I am no longer the same person as when I wrote it. Of course, the essay still holds true, but if I were to write an essay about motherhood and legacy now, it would be different. It would reflect my Christian worldview. I am so blessed that the editors chose my essay to be in the book. It was a great joy to take what I thought was a polished piece and make it even better. Thank you, Dan and Mary Jo Gediman. I hope to contribute more essays to This I Believe ... and so can you!

Tonight on our evening walk, I couldn't help but think how I begin my rosary or various other chaplets by first professing the Apostles Creed. I believe in God ... everything else stems from this.

If you spy this book in the bookstores, let me know. All my other books are of the educational variety (for the school and library market) so they are not carried by bookstores.


Please check out This I Believe: On Motherhood. I have yet to read a single essay since my daughter nabbed the book ... 


Happy reading and God bless mothers everywhere.
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Gifts for Easter

I am finally getting around to posting reviews on Amazon and thought about cross-posting.


Sense of the Sacred: The Beauty of Catholicism Series by Mr Dominic M de Souza
This is the most beautiful coloring book for children to inspire them to grow in their Catholic faith. The drawings are detailed and there is enough variety for a child of 2 to a child of 99 to spend hours coloring these. They make beautiful Christmas and Easter gifts. I am a repeat buyer since I have not seen any other coloring book of religious art with such beauty.


The Creation by Janice D. Green
 I had the pleasure of seeing the actual quilt and it is amazing. What a family treasure! But you do not have to be a quilter to enjoy this book with a child or a grandchild. Janice Green has retold the Creation in her own words using the quilt blocks to illustrate. Children will not only delight in the story, but they will be eager to discuss the questions that Ms. Green poses on each page spread. Ms. Green also gives several ideas on making your own quilts or tracing pictures for the children to color. This makes a wonderful baby shower gift, especially to those mothers who love to sew. This is a book I will be purchasing again and again for young mothers.


Both these books make lovely gifts for children. I hope you will consider getting a copy to share with a beloved child. Thank you so much and I hope you will have a most blessed Holy week and a joyful Easter.

I am especially enjoying practicing songs for the Triduum. It is such a blessing to sing in a choir again. I'm also discovering the power of the Gregorian chant in alleviating pain. Wow!