So I've been writing and revising and hating everything ... I want it to be PERFECT!!!! No matter what I try, it's not good. I have scribbled many pages in my notebook and I did not mind one bit. I was trying out various things, learning more about my characters, and if was all fun. But now that I opened up a new document, I feel paralyzed. I type up a sentences and paragraphs and they are all terrible. I tell myself not to delete, but in the morning, I delete everything. Can I scream now? ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH. I feel a tantrum coming on. I feel like a fourth-grader who does not want to have to redo her work.
There is excellent advice over at Kristi Holl's blog ... the trick is to write fast and with with passion. But what if it's all crapola? I have lost all judgment about my work right now. My husband has suggested that I simply write and quit deleting and yet the delete button is my favorite key right now because the screen becomes blank again and I don't have to look at the stuff. He says to cut and paste it somewhere else. I actually do have another document where I talk to myself. Perhaps I should stick it in there ... I've not opened that document in a long time. But I promised Jen, my critique partner I will not delete anything more. We are supposed to meet Wed. and share some pages. I wanted to give her something brilliant to read ... make it worth her while.
Anybody else feel so neurotic?
I have made a decision. This revision does not have to be perfect. It cannot be and will not be perfect. It has to be incrementally better. That's all. Right?